I must say when several days pass by without writing down the events therein what's left behind tends to be scattered and unreflective of what has actually happened. Such is the movement of things here. Tasks must be started immediately or else they get caught in the undertow of 'the now' that is constantly passing us by. Here and there I find notes in my pocket with names, phone numbers and directions - information that I was suppose to take care of days before and sincerely meant to accomplish if only there was time. But the method of this community is to throw a handful of darts at the target and if most hit the board it doesn't matter that a few fall to the way-side. Not much has missed the mark here. I have made my share of mistakes, forgotten to switch the grease to diesel in the vegetable car, missing an important call or using cheese at the wrong meal. On the whole things hit here and go well. Recently things have even been hitting the target. Ellen, Nathan and I took off for Westfield State University (though not a university in any kind of structure) last week to spark discussions in four classes of ethics and gender studies. Though only freshman courses we had a good time and received a strong and unexpected response from the students. It reminded me that personal touch can make a world of difference. While a word by letter or email may spark some interest some of the time, a real, physical discussion between two or three human can embrace a topic so powerful and necessary as non-violence and community. But we yearn to become more personal still. Ellen and I this morning were driving to Mass expressing our desire for more human interaction beyond the classroom. A desire we plan on turning to action before we grow complacent in the tradition of Agape. More has hit the target than just the student voices. The voices of woman around the earth have been heard in our community by hundreds of eager ears.
Yesterday was the St. Francis Day we had been promoting for a full month and planned by those before us for a year by founders who sparked the idea twenty-eight years ago. I think if given the opportunity we could spend another month just reviewing what happened, and certainly many years of remembering moments and people, too many to bear in one human mind. For weeks I have been speaking the names of Martha Hennessey, Ban Al-Mahfodh, Amanda Daloisio, Robyn Murray and others who were just names and causes on a flier. Now they are people and voices that I hope to never forget. Women talking about how war has effected them. Robyn, an American combatant, speaking next to Ban, an Iraqi destroyed by the American army. A crowd with two boys and a husband who have lost their mother and wife on our vote, our money and our bullets. It sounds good when read in the paper and it sounds good as a story to get behind but it means nothing until you see the tears in the eyes of the women burdened for life by the whims of an arrogant country. The angst of the stories was summed in every question during the day, "What do we do?" Beneath the question was the heart of the matter - Give me something to do. Suzanne may be more right in her answer than I wish to agree upon. She told us what was most needed is to resist what is wrong, to have no part in something that is killing tens of thousands of people, all of whom are innocent of such catastrophe. I am afraid to think of what it takes to resist something so stubborn and strong as hate. People have died for much less than being a pacifist, for being resistant to a blood-thirsty government. If it is to be done, it is to be done in community, and god help us one larger than the minority of peaceful people today.
This weekends events were powerful and motivating but cannot overshadow the simple conversations I have had with the fellow interns, bishops, catholic workers, professors, militants and peacemakers around the table at the Francis house. One on my mind more than any other is on the Post-modernist few of gender association - a conversation from the hearts of the four interns here and responded by one of the founders the next morning. While on my mind as a painful reminder of gay brutality and murder, of suicide and depression, the question remains what to do. The Christian answer is simple but too slow moving for my comfort. love the right, repress the evil. It's not enough and will not be for quite some time. But the ideas float around and await a home in some movement or person sometime in the future. Ugh, and already too much is going on around me to write any more... I haven't even gotten started. You simple have to see it to believe it.
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